Have you ever loved someone to the detriment of your very being? Have you ever worked so hard to love someone, that you lost you? Have you ever compromised you to show love to someone, only to be rejected or ridiculed? I have. Over the course of my short existence on earth I have been fortunate enough to come across some amazing people. Some of which I could live without, some who I thought I could not live without, and some who for various reasons I could not live with.
I have learned that sometimes love is not enough and other times love is too much. And right now, love is both – too much and not enough. How do you release people you love? People who have been a part of your life for more than half of your life? People who you have literally grown to love and make synonymous with life itself? How do you let them go without releasing part of you with them? How do you drop them overboard? Why would you do any of those things?
Let’s ponder my first how. How do you release people you love? Ideally all at once, but love is rarely ever that clean. I once watched a sermonette about Jonah who found himself in rebellion or disobedience, and as a result of his issues a ship full of men were in peril. Jonah, knowing he was the source of the problem told them to throw him overboard and things would be fine, instead they worked harder to keep him on the ship. Eventually they listened and threw Jonah overboard, and the minute they threw Jonah overboard, not only were they ok, but so was Jonah. It did not look like Jonah was fine, but he indeed was fine and eventually found himself in compliance again.
Recently I realized I needed to throw a few people off the ship. Most of the releases were easy, but there are these 3 people that I’m working hard to keep on the ship. In my heart, I know that it must come to pass because they cannot see me beyond their hurt. They see me through their hurt and that hurt has left them jaded, negative, and unreachable. They cannot see me for the gift I’ve become instead they still see who I was or in some cases they see who they are not.
I once read that a person can only receive what they are able to perceive. Suggesting that if you hurt me, regardless of the changes you have made since that hurt I may still only be able to accept you to the degree of that hurt. It is similar to the law of attraction – like attracts like. So one would think, knowing this I can just drop them and keep moving, because after all they cannot see me for who I have consistently become, right?
You have to remember that your feelings are emotions, they do not control your responses. They may impact reactions, but we respond from our faith. In that sense it is in fact as easy as just throwing them off the boat, rest in the fact that just like there was a plan for Jonah, there is a plan for your Jonah. The longer he remains on your ship the more frustrated you will become, the more your life will be hindered, and the greater the cost.
If you find yourself in a position where you keep bumping your head against a wall and nothing seems to be working out, take a few minutes and see if Jonah is still on your boat, it is probably time to throw him overboard so he can grow, so you can grow, and so others can see the blessing that came from the release.